|Joe lies (when he cries) - Bouncing Souls|
Did you ever catch yourself right before you slipped back into the same cycle of crap?
I tried to catch myself today, and I think I came out like a champ...somewhat. I'm going to stay positive, but can anyone tell me when high school type bullshit ends? I'm almost 25, with a *high profile* career (lol), everyone that I associate with is at least 5 years older, I'm dating someone 12 years older, yet....here's the catch, the same mind-numbing bullshit that crowded life as a teenager has made such a resurgence. I just gotta try and shake it off
BTW...JSYK accountants are lame at life...there, I said it...I still love it though bb
It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK, Diary
The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK, Choke
Your handwriting. The way you walk. Which china pattern you choose. It's all giving you away. Everything you do shows your hand. Everything is a self-portrait. Everything is a diary.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK, Diary
All the effort in the world won't matter if you're not inspired.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK, Diary
You gain power by pretending to be weak. By contrast, you make people feel strong. You save people by letting them save you. All you have to do is be fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog. People really need somebody they feel superior to. So stay downtrodden. People need somebody they can send a check at Christmas. So stay poor. Charity isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind.
What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.
We have no scar to show from happiness. We learn so little from peace.
If you love something set it free...but don't be surprised when it comes back with herpes.
Okay, so I'm finally going to make an effort to begin posting here often.
Things have been so unbelievable hectic in my life lately and I need to start logging them in.
Quick catch up...
The boyfriend Roberto has been out since the first week of May
The man Soto has been in and out and around since the third week of May
...yeah I know...
I've been partying, shopping and really enjoying the summer...probably a bit too much!
I have officially out-drunk every guy in my work circle and earned the titled of the Champ.
Really, they are customizing my a heavyweight belt and everything HA!
If ever partying in NYC, do not go to a bar called Barcelona on 9th ave and 55st and do not have your "friend" secretly order you a Full Metal Jacket shot!!!
Four shots of wild turkey and ten push ups later, I ended up leaving the place sans my front tooth.
Invisible Monsters was by far my favorite Chuck Palahniuk book. If you can stomach the images, it is definitely worth the read.
Next week I will be 24...
After you hit 21 the years really start flying at an alarming rate. You're kind of left feeling like, you really should've accomplished more in this time, maybe you should be further along in your life plan. I supposed those doubts are always there but I've had an incredible year in all respects, so no complaints.
Going back to school next monday!
I can't wait, it has been over two years since I stopped my classes. I'm keeping my normal business schedule of 40 hrs a week and adding classes two nights a week to start. Fun fun fun!
I'm in an amazing position as is especially considering that I'm still pursuing my BA.
More money.....More SHOPPING!
Oh my Christmas present from Roberto finally came =)
Initially he bought me the denim Pleaty, but we decided it was too small. So now I'm the proud owner of this love
*EDIT* No need to lie anymore since I broke up with him, but this bag was a beast. I carried it to work once and felt uber tacky. Denim logos do not fit in at Bloomberg LP sorry to break it to you but this bag did not make me into a real "city girl"
Marc would have been the way to go at the time, but no loss, sold to pay my credit $$$
So I'm watching VH1's Big in 06 right now and I am in a way depressing myself. Has my life really come to the point where seeing Perez Hilton's fat head appear on tv makes me feel that familial warmth of say, an old friend? I saw Paris and thought...hmmm looking pretty classy tonight, eh. Meh, I think ONTD has officially taken up my life....
I haven't finished a book in two months...and for me that is pretty much blasphemous. However, I do have Gwen's entire album locked in my brain as well as the contents of the newest limited edition collections for MAC. I think it is of utmost importance to get a better digi cam just for taking good FOTDs lol. I see a problem arising...especially when I start thinking hmmm maybe getting a little lipo would be cool...cuz I mean I could afford it and why not get on the track to perfection. I am so wacked...
the internetz = crystal meth (minus "raisin face" and meth mouth, of course!)
Well lets hope that since I'll be starting back up at school at the end of January, I will stop this nonsense and begin focusing on the important stuff again.
You know I can blame it all on Roberto...yup yup yup...Maybe if I got an ounce of attention from him I wouldn't get so consumed by the irrelevant things. Sometimes loving someone can be a real headache. But then again, nothing is perfect...
I have a sore throat...ouchies!
So...it is Tuesday night and I'm officially in my second week of the new job. My internal clock is still so wacky though. I have been waking up every day at 6am but I still can't bring myself to fall asleep at a decent hour. But whatever, whatever I have no mean green to help me fall asleep >=(
Tomorrow I have my first big time conference at the New Yorker...Young venture capitalists?!?! Amazing that before a few days ago finance wasn't even in my vocabulary and now I'm serving as the face of my company. Unfortunately, I'm still not as busy as I'd like to be at work...so in my downtime I've been working on my photoshop skills. I enhanced a picture of Roberto and it looks very modelesque...but blue eyes really don't suit him...
Ughhh my jaw hurts...As much as a loathe the dentist, I think I'm going to have to take advantage of my insurance really soon.
Looking forward to getting paid so I can hit up Sephora/MAC and Victoria's Secret...♥
So the boss-man and myself celebrated our 6 month anniversary last friday. I don't usually care for small things like that, but given our history and the fact that we rarely get to spend enough time together...it was well needed. I bought him cupcakes from the Butter Cup Bakery...woah goodness!! He took us for really good seafood and wine....fun times!
He got us tickets to see Death Cab on the 8th...YAY!
and we are going to indulge in my everlasting love for Stephan Jenkins and see Third Eye Blind on thursday...
I've been running into people from high school randomly this past week...strange...but pretty nice at the same time.
Oh, and then there was that unexpected call yesterday...
I am almost finished with my screwdriver.
It is a slight bit strong for my taste but I figure it might help me get to sleep at a decent hour...
I will probably be wrong because in the past two or three weeks I haven't been able to fall asleep before 4 am. I've been stumbling upon a lot of Felini movies lately when my insomnia kicks in. Ahh...I don't find Felini to be very settling to the mind.
Got my first real prospect in the new job hunt. Great starting salary, nice midtown location, solid firm...an actually job description that omits answering phones and fetching things...STEP UP!
New interview means new interview outfit! Yes! Shopping soon!
Saturday = The Lovin'
his schedule is killing him but we make it work ♥
Well there is Project Runway, when all else fails basking in the essence of fellow fraulein Heidi Klum will always be there. No Roberto tonight because, well we can pick a reason a)he had and is tired from school, b) he is achy and in much pain from taking a spill earlier c)he is a crotchety old man who needs his rest or d)all of the above. I will go with "d" tonight, it sucks because I miss him but what can you do. At least I can be happy that I'm not in the fetal position crying and howling in pain for hours like last night...so step up for me!
Okay let me finish playing fetch with the kitty. Who knew that Poland Spring caps could provide fun day after day!?
I'm itching all over today! I think my bosses dog may have fleas...
okay so I know that many many women and girls dig have these little fruity dogs lately, but wtf is going on with the grown men. My boss is nearing 65 and he and all of his manboobed friends all have these little bitch dogs...and the way that they behave with them, give me a break. Everyday my boss brings his little toy poodle in the office, it never fails. There are stained wee pads in corners throughout the office, the same stained wee pads that were there four months ago when i started...sexy! I don't get it, but whatever I don't want fleas around me!
My cat sasha is giving me the evil eye...she sits directly across from my bed and just stares at me...she doesn't flinch. I call her name, snap my fingers...nothing, she just glares at me with those icy blue eyes as if she is waiting for me to go to sleep so that she can steal my soul.
Note..if i wake up without a soul, we know why.
I decided to quit my job.
I can't wait.
It is a waste of time.
I want more money, but more than anything I want to do something that I enjoy.
If worse comes to worse I'll start doing promos again until I find a position that I'm happy with. Side note: I've worked very odd jobs all over the spectrum even though I'm only 23, music stores, modeling, marketing, web design, graphic design, photographer...(for adult websites)..real estate, finance, and now commercial laundry parts...yum...sexay...
If I am challenged to do something that requires brain power, i will do it...i'm an evil perfectionist in that way. I will hate that people expect so much of me and don't appreciate it but on the same token i can't stand if they go beyond me for anything...because i will do it... if only to prove that i can do it...
I <3 fat people in bikinis...no i'm lying but my friend mindy does. she thinks it's courageous...i think jesus was pretty courageous...but whatevers...
My boyfriend is amazing...
he works from 7am-8pm everyday 7 days a week...he manages to make time for me and treat me amazing, he's my hero
I love being able to know amazing people like the above mentioned boy because I feel like there are so many people that waste there lives being bitter and pointless...I can be bitter and pointless too sometimes, but he brings out the light in my cloudy head
Paris Hilton has only slept with two people in her life...sup paris i think maybe we are soul mates!
and if i were a party girl i'd probably dance on the tables too because you are right sweaty people are gross...i don't want some sticky person grazing my skin either....
Shoes are amazing
I got the jessica simpson shoes that I ordered from ebay today. They are cute...but I went to loemanns on my break. I've never been there before but wow! Amazing shoes and the prices are sick. Mmmmm Marc Jacobs shoes cheap and I'm even thinking about those BCBG boots that are Frye knockoffs, they are only 50 bucks...amazing. I heart shoes!
but i didn't buy any because i'm trying to be a little more responsible with my finances.
on that note i'm selling stuff...like sufjan stevens tickets because i love selling concert tickets!